well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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