If i come over, it means nothing
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
