the new term for farting is butt boxing.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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