We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
