I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
