I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
