I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
