Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
