He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
