sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
