Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
