So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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