Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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