Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize