So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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