I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
