Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
