Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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