Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
