Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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