I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we made out on top of his cat.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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