i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
