K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize