no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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