the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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