dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
