I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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