about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
