i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Even my vagina gasped.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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