On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
