her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
how drunk are you?
Several
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
