it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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