Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
