I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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