No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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