like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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