you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
