the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
