Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
