walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
