I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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