maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
