At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
