The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
