Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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