what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
