i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
