smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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