My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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