everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
