sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
