Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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