so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
