I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
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