How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize