Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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