So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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