Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He did a backflip because drugs
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