What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
